Help for Families Touched by Suicide

How do we cope when a loved one takes their own life?

Suicide of someone close to us constitutes one of the most difficult "grief journeys" that anyone might have to confront.  Naturally when one hears that a loved one has ended their own life we are filled with a host of conflicting emotions:  Anger, sadness, guilt confusion - "why?"

These conflicting emotions make it difficult for us to even begin the grief journey and the path towards our own healing.  Usually there is a desperate need for the loved one to try to find out why this has occurred.  Suicide often shakes many of our cherished beliefs and long held understanding of how things should be.  Often it leaves us feeling guilty as well, "Why didn't I realise that they might take their own life?" "Why didn't they speak to me or tell me what was wrong...?"

In talking with many people who have had to work through these issues, some report that they have only found peace when they realise that while we may react to the suicide of a loved one with all the emotions mentioned above, it is wise to also consider how things must have been for the person who took their own life.  There is always this "second story" - their own story, their own reasons.  While this understanding is not to justify their desperate action in taking their life, it can help us to understand a little of their own pain, that for them, at that time seemed the best or only option.  Is it possible to respect their decision - even though we don't support it or agree with it?

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